Pa Stark's Joke of The Day

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Captain Canuck		#1501	[url]	[-]
Serial Fan Posts: 1837 9-Jun-09 04:42 Thunder Rider	Boy that was worry-some, Doc. I looked earlier and this thread was missing. I was afraid the boards had been savaged like that time a few years ago when we irretrievably lost all those really great jokes! Looks like all is well now though. Now here's is something you may not have known before... Apparently there are two very different kinds of llama. There is that standard llama that is spelled l-l-a-m-a which is commonly known as the two 'L' llama. Then there is the three 'L' llama which is a really big fire.
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Captain Canuck		#1502	[url]	[-]
Serial Fan Posts: 1839 10-Jun-09 10:24 Thunder Rider	A nun was sitting at the airport, waiting for her flight to Chicago . She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune and thought to herself, "I'll give it a try and see what it tells me." She went over to the machine, stepped up on the scale and put her nickel in. Out came a card that read, "You are a nun, you weigh 128lbs, and you are going to Chicago ." The nun sat back down. She told herself that the machine probably gives the same card to everyone. The more she thought about it the more curious she got so she decided to try it again. She went back to the machine and again put her nickel in. Out came a card that read, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, you are going to Chicago and you are going to play a fiddle." The nun said to herself, "I know that is wrong, I have never played a musical instrument in public in my whole life." She sat back down. From out of nowhere a cowboy came over and sat down, putting his fiddle case on the seat between them. Without thinking, she opened the cowboy's case, took out the fiddle, and started playing beautiful music. Surprised at what she had done, she looked over at the machine thinking, "This is incredible, I've got to try this again." Back to the machine she went, put in another nickel, and another card came out. This time it read, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs , you are going to Chicago and you are about to break wind." This time she was absolutely sure that the machine was wrong. She thought to herself, "I've never broken wind in public a single time in my entire life." But in getting down off the machine she slipped, and as she was straining to keep herself from falling to the floor, she broke wind quite loudly. Absolutely stunned, she ignored the stares and ths snickers of passers by and went back to her seat and sat back down. She looked at the machine. She said to herself, "This is truly remarkable. I've got to try this again." She went back to the machine and put in another nickel. Another card came out. It read, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, and you have fiddled and farted around so much that you've misssed your flight to Chicago."
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Pa Stark		#1503	[url]	[-]
Serial Fan Posts: 435 11-Jun-09 01:20 Serial Fan	Do you know what is the Jewish method of doing it "Doggy style?" He sits and begs, and then she rolls over and plays dead. Remember, you can always trust Honest Pa Stark
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Captain Canuck		#1504	[url]	[-]
Serial Fan Posts: 1840 12-Jun-09 08:00 Thunder Rider	Ace Drummond and Pa Stark were chatting one day. Ace: "How's Ma doing these days?" Pa: "I don't know. I think she might be dead." Ace: "Good grief, man. You THINK she might be dead?! Don't you know for sure?" Pa: "Well, the sex is the same but the dishes are starting to pile up."
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Pa Stark		#1505	[url]	[-]
Serial Fan Posts: 439 30-Jun-09 06:12 Serial Fan	Q: What do women hate most about porta potties? A: Men keep peeing in the purse holder. Remember, you can always trust Honest Pa Stark
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Captain Canuck		#1506	[url]	[-]
Serial Fan Posts: 1849 4-Jul-09 02:47 Thunder Rider	What? They're purseholders? Who'd a thunk! Anyhow, One day Ma and Pa Stark were sitting around the breakfast table when Pa suddenly said, "Ma, if I were to die suddenly someday, someway like maybe being shot full of holes by Dick Tracy, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff." "Now why would you want me to do something like that?" Ma asked. Pa replied, "I figure that you would eventually remarry, and I don't want some other ahole using my stuff..." Ma thought for about two seconds and retorted, "What makes you think I'd marry another ahole?"
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Pa Stark		#1507	[url]	[-]
Serial Fan Posts: 440 6-Jul-09 03:37 Serial Fan	Dr. Grood, Dr. Daka, and Captain Canuck are discussing human anatomy, and the question of why men have a head at the end of their johnson is brought up. Dr. Daka says, "That's easy, so that during sex, it will give men more pleasure." Grood says, "No, you are wrong, it is so during sex, it will give women more pleasure." Cap Canuck replies, "You are both wrong. It is so during sex, your hand won't slip off." Remember, you can always trust Honest Pa Stark
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Captain Canuck		#1508	[url]	[-]
Serial Fan Posts: 1853 9-Jul-09 07:57 Thunder Rider	Did you hear that Brick Bradford is ill again? He has Old Furniture Disease. His chest is falling into his drawers.
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rhomak		#1509	[url]	[-]
Serial Fan Posts: 155 10-Oct-09 10:36 Serial Fan	Pa and Ace were two avid baseball fans. Every year they would go to all the baseball games the local team played at home, and they even played for the company softball team until retirement sidelined them. Never-the-less they lived, and breathed the great National past time. One day they were talking about baseball, and Pa sat back and had a far away look on his face. "What's the matter, Pa?" Joe asked. "I was just thinking." Pa replied. "We love the game of baseball so much I wonder what it's going to be like when we die. Do you think they have baseball in Heaven, Ace?" Ace thought about it, then said: " I don't know, but I have an idea." "What's that, Ace?" Pa asked. "Whoever dies first must contact the survivor and tell him whether there's baseball in Heaven or not." This seemed like a good idea to both the old friends, and they promised each other that they would do just that. As it turned out, Ace passed away first. After six months of waiting for Ace to contact him, Pa almost gave up the idea of ever knowing the answer to the question. Suddenly, one night, Ace appeared to Pa, and Pa was elated. After greeting his deceased friend, Pa asked: "Well? Is there baseball in Heaven, Ace?" Ace's spirit looked at Pa and said: "I have good news, and I have bad news for you Pa." "What's the good news, Ace?" Pa asked. "There's baseball in Heaven." Ace replied. "What's the bad news then?" "You are pitching tomorrow." Dave
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Captain Canuck		#1510	[url]	[-]
Serial Fan Posts: 1861 12-Oct-09 03:40 Thunder Rider	Pa Stark lives next door to some lesbians. One day they asked him what he'd like for his birthday and based on what he told them they bought him a Timex. Seems they misunderstood the phrase, "I wanna watch."
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